Le 15 octobre

Salut!
Je m'appelle Julien. Normally, I'm a private person, and I wouldn't put my life on the Internet. But all of us have a story to tell, and I figure that I should tell mine. I had a blog prior to this, but I forgot the login and had to make a new one. The previous posts are from the summer.
I guess I should state the most important thing: I did not create this blog to talk about me as a person (though I'm sure I'll share some of that). As weird as it sounds, I created it to talk about Sabine and my rather strange friendship with her. OK...so maybe it isn't strange and it's just a normal friendship, but she has had a large impact on my life in different ways.
Enough about Sabine as I'm sure you read her blog. I know I said I wouldn't do this, but I will introduce myself more in-depth. I am fourteen years old, and I am in 3ème at Collège Paul Verlaine. I play football (soccer), but not for a school team because we don't have those in France. I love traveling, other languges, and other cultures. My favorite place in the world is Valencia, Spain. Spanish is my favorite foreign language, and I recently discovered that vosotros/as and its verb forms are not used in the Americas.
There are two things I want to be when I grow up- the world's best dad and a cours préparatoire (first grade) teacher. I'm fine with young children (considering that I have babysat my little sister Delphine forever), so teaching that age group doesn't bug me.

On to other things...

I haven't seen Sabine since 2008. She left the country for some boarding school without personally telling me "goodbye", and I won't lie. It kind-of hurt, considering we're good friends. She returned to France a few months ago as a result of her mother's demands. When I first saw her face, I felt like America had changed her. She actually wears her glasses now; she used to hate them.
Fortunately, she didn't change much personality-wise. I'm glad of that. If her personality changed, that would have been like having a whole new Sabine. Her clothing style is still the same, and I'm glad that she hasn't adopted sweatpants. I appreciate it when girls dress nicely. It looks much more respectable.

Things between us weren't too awkward as I had expected they would be since we hadn't spoken face to face in so long. The first thing she brought up was Miley Cyrus, which was expected. I then asked her if she wanted to help me babysit Delphine, and she said "sure". We talked some about America, and Delphine insisted that we had crushes on each other.

I thought she was being the typical little sister who liked to get on my nerves, but maybe her words had some truth to them. Some truth...I mean, I admire and respect Sabine and I love her in friend sense. I wouldn't say I have a romantic-type of crush on her. I don't think I could ever date my best friend because I wouldn't want to destroy our friendship. I have much more respect for her, and I'm sure she feels the exact same way*.

*Or maybe not.

Sabine invited me to her house for dinner, and afterwards, we went on her balcony to talk as we usually did when we were younger. Her brother snickered at us, and once again, I was assuming he was being the typical older brother. Her parents didn't think anything of us going on the balcony, but then again, we French seem to be more relaxed about relationships with the opposite sex. Sabine told me that some Americans are weird with boy-girl friendships, and I can safely say that society is more liberal in Europe. We don't always assume the worst.
We were talking about America and Miley Cyrus again, and in the midst of conversation, I remembered I had something to give her. I handed her a note that she had written me three years ago, and after she read it, she looked like she was going to faint from shock.

After I left, I regretted returning it to her. She gave it to me, and giving it back was rude. I was expecting a confrontation about it, but fortunately, she dropped the subject. In some ways, it's just best to leave the past behind.

-JH

Le 26 juin

Delphine wanted me to take her swimming, so I did. I didn’t swim because guys have to wear Speedos if they want to get in the water. I don’t think I have it in me to publically wear one now. It wasn’t an issue when I was little, but now, it’s just a way to get harassed by tourists who know nothing about French culture.

Gérard tells me that I need to loosen up. Of course he would. He likes the attention he gets from tourists.

It also isn’t like Lille is the hottest place on the planet. I don’t consider 20* (Celsius of course) to be a pool day. Delphine clearly does, and that’s enough to make me have to go.

I tried to talk her out of it. I said I would take her for some crêpes before Maman returned home from work, but she said we can still do that and go to the pool. I asked her if she wanted to walk through the Citadelle, and she told me that parks are extremely boring.

The second time I met Sabine was at the Citadelle, and I just wanted to walk through to think about that. Since I was around four when this happened, Maman reminded me.

A band was playing “La Vie en Rose” in the background, which is probably the most cliché French song ever written. Still, good old Édith Piaf- her legacy lives on. Sabine was humming along, which wasn’t unusual. She has always loved music. She just couldn’t play it. Her piano lessons ended in tragic failure- the woman instructing her claimed that Sabine was simply not teachable. I can’t remember if Sabine was upset or not. She did, however, want to punch the instructor I am sure…

Back to that day in the Citadelle, Sabine was singing and swinging on a swing. She was minding her business as usual until an impatient girl shoved her off the swing. Her knees and arms were scrapped, and she was in tears. Although Sabine didn’t like me whatsoever, I still made sure she was OK. I talked to her and comforted her until our mothers stopped talking and realized that Sabine had had an accident that would be the first of many notorious accidents. I told the girl who shoved her, “tu es méchante!”  Sabine laughed through her tears, and I actually think we had a conversation after that- well, as much of a conversation as a four year old can have.

 But that wasn’t the first time I met Sabine, like I said. The first time was far more entertaining, and it showed a side of her that I didn’t know could exist…

-JH

Le 24 juin

There is practically one month of summer left, and I haven’t had time to do anything that I wanted. I guess that is what comes with having a single, working mother as a parent. My eleven-year-old sister Delphine and I had an option to visit our father in Marseille, but we hate his wife (never will you hear us call her our stepmom!). She’s, for lack of better terms, a nerd. She doesn’t allow for us to have any privacy, and she needs to know where we are 24/7. If I am relaxing in my room, she’ll freak out and accuse us of sneaking around.

Paranoia. They have to have something to hide. Delphine and I prefer to wait until Père comes to Lille to visit us so we don’t have to put up with la putain.

Anyway, my friends are in Lille, so if I EVER had free time, I’d want to spend it with them, NOT la putain’s 13 year old daughter Léa. She’s basically crazy, to say the least. She has a deranged crush on me, and she constantly asks me invasive questions.

Some people have it worse, though, like my friend Sabine. I considered her sister to be crazy until I learned the dangerous truth. I couldn’t live with that. I basically protected Sabine when her sister and a group of awful girls went against her. It was the right thing to do, and I’m happy that Maman raised me to be the “perfect gentleman”. She said that she didn’t want me to end up like my father, and considering who my father is with, I want to be the furthest thing from him. My parents got divorced when I was six because he was having an affair with that creep. How low. I could never treat a girl that way, especially if she was my wife. Adultery is the lowest thing a person can do, and it destroys lives. My mother suffered from a rough bout of depression, and I hated seeing her like that. Delphine drew numerous fun, happy pictures for her, and it made me sad to hear Maman tell her that those didn’t make her feel much happier.

After Maman got the treatment she much needed, I vowed never to treat a girl like that. I even encouraged Maman to date again. Fortunately, she did, and her boyfriend Christophe is definitely a better role model for me than my dad was.

I miss talking to Sabine about this. I could email her all I wanted, but it wasn’t the same as talking to her in person. She basically grew up with me, and she was a friend when I needed it. The least I could do was be the much needed friend when those girls tried to make her life miserable. I will admit that I had a crush on her (had being the key word), but I was always uncertain of whether she liked me back or not. When Gérard moved here, I was under the impression that she was extremely impressed by Gérard, his passive aggressive and bitingly sarcastic sense of humor, and his perceived wealth. Gérard is one of my closest friends, but I do need some time away from him. He wears thin on me too quickly. Sabine doesn’t, though. She never really has. I mean, she could basically be a total maudite vache at times, and she could scream and get nasty with you, but something about her makes me overlook that. I’m not sure what though.

Maybe “did” was an understatement. I still DO like her. I enjoy the few emails she sends me each month, even the ones that contain Miley Cyrus fangirl material. That’s another thing- because of Sabine, I have a few Miley songs on my iPod. I ask her when she plans on coming back to Lille, and she either ignores that question or says je ne sais pas.

Then again, I’m not sure why I even care so much. I know we men are supposed to break girls’ hearts, but once again, the gentleman in me cannot fathom doing that. At a risk of sounding like a typical American middle school girl (in Sabine’s opinion, anyway), Sabine broke my heart. Plain and simple. I don’t think she’ll ever realize it, nor do I think she thinks what she did would matter so much. But it does/did matter. It still upsets me to think about it.

There’s so much more to that, but I don’t have much time to explain. Delphine wants me to take her to buy a new CD.

-JH